Georgia Murch and Flawsome - was one such book recently.
This book is an unapologetic - shameless - focus on you (well me actually!) I felt like I was at times sat in a cafe with Georgia, being safely held, with a wonderful bowl of flat white, being gently nurtured into accepting that I am flawed, and that was OK - in fact more than OK - that I could choose to celebrate my flaws - indeed treat them like a super power .. to the next minute, feeling like I was in a boxing ring, wanting to shout out "but it's not my fault - you don't understand" - with Georgia being a relentless bulldog therapist with a bone - saying this is for your own good ... I am going to continue regardless...
Before I even got to the introduction I was feeling a tingle of excitement and expectation in my body. My expectations were high - the bar raised - I was expecting this to be real, authentic, hard hitting and said with love - and I was not disappointed.
There were times when I thought she could easily have been speaking about me, and at times when she probably was but I wanted to deny it!
"Without your flaws you are not you" - this was only page 6 - I was by now hooked... oh - and they make you awesome - say what??
Page 7 - I was being 'called by name' - there was no going back now. I was on a mission to read to the end.
So many gems spoke to me throughout the book - distinction not projection - honoring the broken bits - I was almost shouting at the pages - "yes that's me".
If I was sat in a cafe with Georgia - I was now so captivated by what she was saying, I was totally oblivious to anyone or anything around me (even my flat white had gone cold).
But hold on - now I was being challenged to reveal and own my own flaws. Did I consent to that? I was just reading a book - someone else's story. I am not sure I was ready for a spontaneous therapy and coaching session. And, have you forgotten, I am a coach, I teach this stuff ... but in for a penny - breathe - dig deep and keep going.
This roller coaster of holding me - challenging me - calling me out - inviting me - I could barely adapt fast enough to being above the line - below the line - accepting my flaws, then denying my reality ... what a ride.
As Georgia encouraged me to look for the Gold - and beautifully and gently gave me permission to be human - promptly followed by leaving me nowhere to hide - she wove in flawlessly others' opinions, pieces of work and research in such a way it wrapped itself round me like a comforting scarf (so often it can feel like hammering 'facts' down your throat like force feeding).
To hear Georgia talk of the role of gut and the fact the gut has been called a second brain - put me back in my comfort zone. As a Master Trainer of mBIT (mBraining) - as if I needed to know this book was written just for me - I now had confirmation.
I do genuinely feel like I have sat with Georgia and talked to her. Her honesty and vulnerability is an inspiration. I swear she must be some long lost twin we are so similar!
I realize I have work to do - and that is OK - it's going to a life times journey. And looking again at my triggers, using her new categorization, feels helpful and healthy. To extend my 'pause' to a 'stall' feels like a new depth of knowing about that space between trigger and reaction (or response). Her re writing of cognitive dissonances - made me question myself again. I feel like I have been in a confessional, and now feel empowered to come out and own my own stuff (a technical term, not used in the book!).
For those who do not to jump in and read the whole thing in one go - there are some amazing 'cheat sheets' at key points, so you can review the key learnings. The key quotes stand out on pages, to draw your eyes to sayings that are well worth writing out and having on your pin board.
And, while this is a book I know I will have to re-read a few times, I love the realism within it. No magic bullets, no quick fixes - this is about making a choice and doing the hard work to get results, to change the wiring in your brain (s)(sorry couldn't resist). It is a realistic approach to development, like I have not often read.
I have a 22 year old daughter and I will be making sure she gets a copy of this book. And, if you want a realistic, down to earth, no holes bared, approach to self development, I highly recommend you get a copy for you too. Sit with your highlighters and get yourself a journal - this should come with a warning - this book could seriously change you life.